It may sound simplistic but practicing the habit of positive self-talk is a proven way to fuel personal growth.

On the flip side, giving ourselves negative messages is an excellent way to hamper growth. With time, we begin to believe what we tell ourselves about ourselves. The internal messages we give ourselves color the way we perceive our lives.

Knowing this, it makes sense for us to choose to focus on the positive. There are several steps you can take while learning to re-frame self-talk.

Pinpoint Areas of Desired Growth

The first step toward growth is finding clarity about what it is you want to change or improve.

Are you struggling with shyness or getting motivated about exercising? Do you feel stuck in a spiral of negativity about yourself or others? Perhaps your career isn’t what you want it to be. Maybe you find yourself in a challenging relationship and don’t know what to do.

These are just a few of the many areas where you may want to seek personal growth.

Identify the Positive with Positive Self-Talk

Once you’ve identified your personal growth areas, take time to think about what is already positive with you and your life.

This strategy can seem complicated. We’re usually more focused on what’s wrong than what’s right—but seeing what is already positive primes your brain for more positive thought. It reminds you of the good in you. Write these down as you reflect on it.

No matter how small something may seem to you, include it on your list. Everything counts; everything adds up.

Remember smaller successes as well as the big ones. Recall compliments others have given you and review personal and professional accomplishments. You’ll draw upon these positives as you practice re-framing your self-talk.

Recognize Negative Beliefs

This approach may be easy for you, as it is for so many people. As you tried to recall strengths and positives, chances are your brain piped up with objections and excuses.

Identify those negative messages. Understanding them is a vital step. Once you’ve identified them, you can begin to challenge them.

Choose to Focus on Specific Messages

As wild as it might sound, you do get to decide what messages to give yourself. If you’re like most people, you take the path of least resistance and give rein to the negative.

The thought of choosing to believe the positive might seem ridiculous. But you’re already choosing what to tell yourself. Instead of continuing to accept the negative, identify the positive messages you want to give yourself.

Take it a step further and write them down.

Start Small

Re-framing and replacing your internal messages is possible, but it will take a bit of practice. Consider beginning with a small negative belief you have about yourself. Talk back to it.

Counter it with other perspectives and interpretations of your behavior. Identify the positive and train your brain to focus on that rather than the negative. Repeat the healthier messages you want to give yourself instead.

It will take practice. You’ll likely slip into negative beliefs and completely forget to challenge them. But that’s okay. Just start over.

Does It Work?

The neural networks in your brain will grow stronger or weaker based upon how much attention you give to certain areas. If you continuously recall failures and self-doubts, the pathways to those memories will improve.

Likewise, if you instead choose to feed yourself positive messages and recollections with positive self-talk, those neural pathways will grow. It’s a lot like any other muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it will develop.

As you choose to focus on what’s good and right about yourself, you’ll pave the way for personal growth.

You’re building emotional resilience by reinforcing a positive sense of identity. This resilience will help you withstand future challenges and help you maintain growth. In a way, it really is simple.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by negative messages about yourself, please know that it is possible to change the way you see yourself. If you need assistance or support in this area, reach out to the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin. Schedule an appointment by calling (512) 270-4883 or request a session online through the RCC Austin Scheduling page. We’d love to hear from you.