By Charla Lineman, MEd

Being newlywed can be the most exciting time in your life. Yet, for many, the financial struggles can start to be overwhelming. Are you dealing with the aftermath of spending a lot of money on a wedding? Or is the responsibility of creating your home together a persistent drain on your wallet?

The truth is that the first few years of your marriage may not be the honeymoon period that you expected. It is perfectly normal to feel financially strapped for a little while. In the process of navigating finances, you may find it hard to spend quality time with your partner, as your worries about money or spending get in the way.

Naturally, this can cause a strain on the relationship. However, there are ways to stay emotionally close, communicative, and just as in love as you were on your wedding day. 

While you may not be able to do your regular date night, trips away, or romantic vacations for a while, you can still spend quality time together. For richer or poorer, consider these important ways to enjoy each other’s company and stay emotionally close. 

8 Tips To Stay Close and Communicative When Money is Tight

1. Keep An Open, Communicative Environment

Feeling strapped for cash can make everyone feel a little bit stressed, overwhelmed and uneasy. Having an open environment will ensure that you are able to discuss important issues and topics with ease and support. 

2. Make It Safe To Speak 

Always ensure that you and your partner have a safe space to speak without judgment. Then, you can understand each other’s history with and the meaning of money and current anxiety about it clearly. Be there for each other reliably and consistently. 

3. Learn Conflict Resolution Skills

For a relationship to work, conflict reduction/resolution skills are crucial. Avoidance and resentment can build if you don’t develop a way to tackle money issues respectfully and responsibly. Listen to each other’s concerns and be open to compromise as you consider account-sharing, budgets, savings, etc.

4. Encourage Being Your Authentic Selves

Make your partner aware that they can be themselves and they don’t have to edit their words or feelings for your benefit. This is important when it comes to money. Remain truthful and open about everything from feelings about daily finances to future dreams for your retirement.

5. Admit When You’re Wrong

Of course, admit when you’re wrong. Your vulnerability and openness will only foster more love and care, not less.  Be honest and fair, to preserve trust and openness.

6. Support Each Other

Above all else, support one another. You may disagree, but you can provide emotional support by saying something like: “I understand what you’re saying, and how you may be feeling. I just see things differently.” 

Most of all, repair any relationship damage. Apologize if you hurt their feelings, even unintentional slights. Explain that you want to work through the issue together and remind each other, you have a common goal - a happy life together.

7. Learn To Laugh At Things, Including Yourself

Things do go wrong, and you’re not always going to agree. What you can do is learn to laugh at yourself and your own mistakes. This can prevent petty arguments and disagreements. 

Think to yourself; ‘why does this bother me?’ Ask if it is worth causing a rift in your relationship. If not, learn to laugh and move on. 

8. Understand That With Emotional Connection You Can Do Anything Together

The most important thing to remember is that as long as you two are connected emotionally, and on each other’s team, there’s nothing you cannot face or do. When you’re married, you can tackle things together as a unit, so no one ever feels unsupported or uncomfortable in any way. 

 A Therapist Can Help

Finally, remember, you won’t be financially strapped forever. Consider this financial phase a first of many you’ll work through as a team. It’s a good idea now to look at how you view money and its impact on your relationship with a marriage counselor. Please read more about couples counseling services and reach out soon for a confidential consultation.

Charla Lineman, MEd, LMFT Associate, LPC Associate, works with newlywed couples, as well as couples preparing for their upcoming marriage in premarital therapy. Schedule a session with Charla to strengthen your bond with your partner at the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin by calling (512) 270-4883, or request an appointment online via our Scheduling page. We look forward to hearing from you.

Learn more about Marriage Counseling and Premarital Counseling.