By Kassie Soni, MA

In the past decade, the Internet has completely revolutionized dating. While some people still find their relationships through chance encounters or blind dates, dating apps such as Tinder have made it easy (and fun!) to meet potential new partners. However, these dates don’t always go as planned. Sometimes, you may find that the intriguing person you met online is a bit lackluster in real life. Or, they might not even look like their profile picture in the slightest!

Whatever the case, there are some risks involved with dating using online apps, such as Tinder. Fortunately, if you make a conscious effort to pay attention to certain things during your date, you can more easily navigate through potential partners.

1. Did Your Tinder Date Show Up On Time?

Everyone is going to be late sometimes. Whether it was a missed alarm or heavy traffic, there are legitimate excuses for tardiness. However, if your date strolls in 20 minutes late to a 2pm coffee date, that should raise a red flag.

 Again, they may have a legitimate excuse for being late. You don’t necessarily need to throw in the towel because of one instance of tardiness. Still, keep your eye out for whether such behaviors are repetitive. Even with something as casual as online dating, you still deserve respect from your date. That includes respecting your time.

2. How Stimulating Is The Conversation?

One of the most important things to pay attention to is the conversation between you. Does it seem to flow easily and naturally? Or, is it a bit difficult to keep even one topic flowing?

Normally, any first date is going to be a little awkward. However, if you find yourself constantly needing to lead the conversation, this may be a sign that you just don’t have a lot of chemistry with the other person. Furthermore, you shouldn’t always have to start conversations or lead the way. Communication should be a mutual effort. 

3. How Do They Treat The Waitstaff?

If you go to a cafe or restaurant for a Tinder date, the way they treat the waiter or staff can be incredibly telling. Often, if someone is rude to a waiter, they have no problem being rude to just about anyone. Typically, issues that arise in a restaurant aren’t even the waiter’s fault. Thus, you probably don’t want to be with someone who thinks it’s okay to be rude to those who are just trying to do their job.

4. Do They Only Talk About Themselves?

First dates typically consist of a great deal of information. You’re learning about them, they’re learning about you. But does it seem as if they’re most interested in talking about themselves and less interested in knowing who you are?

If so, this could be a red flag. Your tinder date should want to hear about your life, job, hobbies, and interests; they shouldn’t just want to go on about themselves. You should certainly pay close attention to ensure that you haven’t found yourself on a date with someone who is self-centered.

5. Do You Feel Chemistry With Them?

Lastly, it’s important to pay attention to your feelings on a Tinder date. Often, we can tell how we feel about someone based on a gut reaction.

Do you find your date to be attractive, physically, mentally, and emotionally? Does the conversation flow easily? Do you wish to see them again when the date is over? You don’t have to know if you’ve found “the one” after a first date, but your instincts are usually pretty good at determining who might be worth pursuing! 

Tinder, and other online dating apps, are a great resource for finding potential partners you otherwise may have never met. There is still a possibility that your Tinder date may result in some disappointing or unsatisfying connections. Don’t let that prospect stop you from getting out there!

Go into your dates with an open heart and an open mind. Keep these five questions and observations in mind, and you can have great success in your future dating endeavors. 

Contact Kassie Soni, MA, LPC Associate, at the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin for guidance as you navigate the world of online dating. To schedule a session, call our main office at (512) 270-4883, or request an appointment online at the RCC Austin Scheduling page. We hope to hear from you.