When you enter into a relationship with someone new, the first thing people tend to look for is chemistry. Emotional chemistry is a natural flow between two people that never feels forced.
Normally, for a short-term relationship, the physical pull is important from the start. As for wanting a long-term relationship, it takes more than physicality to make it last. It starts out as having the same interests and/or beliefs in common. After a while, it will be easy to look, touch, smile, and be comfortable around them. That person will bring you a sense of warmth that you cannot get anywhere else, making you want to be with that person more and more.
If you want to know for sure what it feels like to have a good connection at the start of your relationship, here are some things to consider.
Eye Contact
When you meet someone for the first time that you find attractive, you may find it awkward to look at them. You may have a tendency to look in the other direction or in the middle of their face.
Once eye contact becomes easy for you after a few encounters, you know it is because the chemistry is there. By looking someone in the eye, you are showing that you have an interest in them.
Smiling
The happiness your new partner brings you can lead to a lot of smiling around them. You find yourself happy when you are with them and you laugh more too. Two people sharing a sense of humor means you can be sarcastic or joke around without misinterpretations or being offended.
It does not require a lot of effort to make the other happy as being in each other’s company is enough. By the time you two say “good night” to each other, you will feel a glow or peace that will last until it is time to sleep.
Easy to Talk to
Too many awkward silences on a date can be very boring without stimulating conversation. The same can be said if you and your date have different beliefs that lead to judgment and fighting.
Being able to click on music, politics, movies, religious views, and more make conversations a delight. There is no need to justify anything you say or apologize. You are so comfortable with your partner that you suddenly find yourself talking to them for hours.
You Can Be Yourself
If you feel like you need to pretend to be someone else in order to click well with someone you have feelings for, the relationship is not authentic. You should never have to feel the need to change your appearance, your tastes, or your personality for someone.
The best person you can be with is someone who accepts you for everything you are. Whether you are in a good mood or a bad mood, they will not turn away from you. There is no pressure to be impressionable because your new partner is already impressed.
A Natural Flow
The surest way you can tell the chemistry is there between you and your new partner is when everything feels right when you are with them. You can easily go with the flow and be your natural self. The two of you are able to click on a level different than anyone else.
You may find yourself surprised how at ease you feel around someone after the first few dates. Once you sense the undeniable chemistry with no awkwardness or self-doubt, hold onto it. If you find yourself still confused about the connection you have with your new partner, seek out professional help.
Gabi Halloum, MA, LPC Associate, specializes in working with individuals at the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin. If you are seeking support as you navigate the early days of a new relationship, we are here to help. Schedule an appointment by calling (512) 270-4883, or complete our Scheduling form online.
Learn more about individual counseling here.