The single life in the age of COVID-19 is the stuff anxiety is made of. If you were already treading lightly through the dating world, finding someone special while social distancing may feel even more challenging.
It’s not surprising then, that online dating, now more than ever, is a lifeline for those seeking romance.
Still, pandemic or no pandemic, online dating must always include security, patience, and realistic expectations. COVID-19 has definitely amplified such guardrails on the road to love. What’s important now is learning how to connect emotionally and authentically while social distancing in most areas of our lives.
What tips can you incorporate now to get to know a potential partner in a pandemic world? Let’s see:
1. Acknowledge COVID-19 Dating Risks
Acknowledging and accepting things as they are is key for any life transition. To date safely and successfully online or otherwise during this time means refusing to throw caution to the wind… even if you meet someone awesome and want to meet in person. Here are some risk factors to keep in mind as you move forward:
Asymptomatic people can still spread COVID-19
Someone who coughs, sneezes, or projects when speaking within 6 feet of you is risky
Cuddling, handholding, and kissing are ill-advised early on
Even if you’ve both been COVID-tested, unless you’ve remained completely isolated, a negative result may not reflect your most recent status
Do your best to acknowledge the pandemic, accept the impositions that come with it, and then start the process of coping productively within the guidelines. You’ll likely find that deciding to deal with things as they are is a relief and saves a lot of energy you can use toward fun, safe interaction.
2. Make More of Your Zoom Date
Let’s face it, we’re all getting FaceTime fatigue and video chat burnout. To keep online meetings fun and engaging, try date activities, shared simultaneously, that take you both beyond just sitting and talking.
Try less intimidating and inactive ways to interact. Pull your cameras back for a wider or more interesting view to show you both in your kitchens, on your patios, or in your living room. Make the same dinner and eat it together. Share and discuss the sights from home. Stream the same bad movie on your TVs to giggle at over popcorn in your respective homes.
Be creative and intentional about your internet interaction each time you “get together.”
3. Link Your Interests in Interesting Ways
In the same way that you make online dates more varied and fun, consider varying the way you share who you are. Little by little, take turns revealing your interests and values via exercise challenges, book club invitations, new recipes, or skills contests that you can take on individually and then discuss later online.
This just keeps the dating process fresh despite social separation. It can be just simple fun or lead to a deepening bond. Most of all, it makes the most of things we can do from a distance and make meeting up something you really look forward to.
4. Resist the Desire for Too Much Too Soon
Online dating during a pandemic is a perfect time for a slower, more in-depth exploration of the people you meet. Because social distancing demands it, the stages of getting to know each other may take longer. As a result, connections may grow stronger with certain people. Enjoy that feeling. But don’t make too much of it too soon.
The truth is, face to face time does matter. Physical and sexual compatibility are important. The full picture of a person is hard to grasp through a screen. So, if a potential partner holds a lot of promise, eventually a plan to safely spend time together will be necessary.
5. Don’t Hold Onto The Wrong One
Loneliness during social distancing is not uncommon. Thus, you might find you are susceptible to idealizing potential partners. Even those with whom you are incompatible.
Stay alert and self-aware. Romanticizing and rationalizing someone despite red flags just leads to problems and heartbreak. Be honest with yourself as well as the other person. Respect your time and theirs.
If you don’t feel a connection, it’s okay. Trust your own mind and be willing to move on.
6. Socially Distant Situations Call for Clarity and Support
If you are feeling lost or confused, you are in good company. There is little precedent for pandemic dating. So why beat yourself up for not knowing what to do?
Reach out to trusted friends and family to help you sort out your feelings, needs, and relationship history. Professional support from a licensed counselor is also helpful if you need an objective person to help you with clarity, perspective, and the encouragement you might need. With help, you can share and work through this unusual time in the world of dating.
If you are struggling with the concept of online dating during a global pandemic, a therapist can help. To learn more strategies for finding companionship in this strange time, seek the support of a counselor at the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin. Call our office at (512) 270-4883, or request an appointment online through the RCC Austin Scheduling page.
We are here to help. Read more about our individual counseling services and contact us soon for a consultation.