As a parent, you want to find ways to connect with your children. A natural connection grows as you accompany your child through the stages of childhood and toward adolescence. However, you may eventually reach a point where many parents struggle to connect with their child: the teenage years!
It’s common for teenagers to distance themselves from their parents and strive for more independence. While you may enjoy watching your child mature, you may miss that connection that you shared when they were younger.
If you’re struggling to connect with your teenager, don’t panic — there are plenty of ways you can find a meaningful, lasting connection.
1. Check-In With Your Teen Every Day
As our children get older, it’s natural to step back and allow them independence. As your teen becomes more distant, you may fall into a routine of minimal conversation. While it’s okay to give your teen some space, it’s crucial to still check-in often. Make a habit of asking your teen how they are doing every day. Ask about schoolwork, their friends, if they need anything — it may seem excessive at times, but it shows that you care. Even if your teen doesn’t have much to share each day, let them know that they can come to you when they have a need or if they want to talk.
2. Find a Hobby That You Both Enjoy
One of the easiest ways to bond with someone is through a shared interest. Whether it be playing a sport, baking, or painting, there’s likely a hobby or activity that both you and your teen will enjoy. Make an effort to find a hobby or activity that you and your teen can participate in together. Even if it’s something you do once a month, it will help establish a shared interest and give you both something to look forward to.
3. Validate Your Teen’s Feelings
Teenage years are not always easy to get through and can be an emotional rollercoaster. Though it may not seem like it, your teen needs you to help them navigate their newfound feelings and hard-to-place emotions.
As a parent, you may not always understand your teenager’s mood or behavior. Nevertheless, try to validate them and their emotions as much as possible. Be careful not to write off their moodiness or belittle their emotions. Though your teen may not always express that they need emotional support, they often do. By validating your teen’s feelings, you teach them that it’s okay to express emotions and be upset sometimes. Not only will your teen feel more connected to you, but their emotional intelligence will grow and improve as well.
4. Schedule a Weekly Movie Night, Dinner, Etc.
If you don’t make an effort to spend time with your teenager, it may never happen. By setting aside special time to spend with your teen, you’ll notice a stronger bond between the two of you. The event doesn’t have to be extravagant or even happen very often. Even a weekly dinner, movie night, or game night will help establish and reinforce the connection between you and your teen. Try to find a time that is just for the two of you, with no other family members involve if possible. Family time is important; however the one-on-one time together is important, too.
5. Show Them That You Respect Their Space
Every person has a right to space and privacy. While it’s natural to want to maintain some control over your children’s lives, you must allow them some independence, as well. As your child enters their teenage years, show them that you respect their newfound independence. Allow them to have their own room, if possible. Trust them with a cell phone or to spend the weekend at a friend’s house. Sometimes the best way to bond with your child is by showing that you respect and care about them. By allowing your teenager more liberties, they’ll know that you trust them, and in return, they’ll feel more comfortable turning to you when they need help.
Teenage years can be rough for some parents, but there are ways you can stay connected with your child. Give these strategies a try to help build and maintain a close, trusting relationship with your teen!
Contact the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin if you and your partner are looking for support as you raise your child through their adolescent years. Our trained counselors can provide strategies for effective communication and guidance through your child’s teenage years. To schedule with a therapist, call our office at (512) 270-4883, or request an appointment online through the RCC Austin Scheduling page.