Dealing with Divorce: 5 Benefits of Having a Counselor by Your Side

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By Ellen Rohr, MEd

If you’ve never considered the benefits of having a counselor by your side while dealing with divorce, it’s time to give it some thought!

Going through a divorce is difficult, no matter what. Whether it’s an amicable and smooth process or a long, drawn-out court battle, it’s not easy.

You’ll likely experience a roller coaster of emotions throughout the process, and you’ll have to learn to grieve. Going through a divorce is still a loss, even if you think it’s for the best.

Still, you don’t have to go through it on your own. A therapist can make a big difference in how you come out the other side. Let’s look at a few benefits so you can make a more informed decision on whether counseling is right for you during the process of divorce.

1. Encourage Personal Momentum

It’s common to think about going to therapy while dealing with divorce. For many people, counseling is extremely helpful.

A therapist can help you to figure out who you are, the impact of your personal history, why things happened a certain way, and more. Together, you can focus on mindfully paying attention to your emotions and the events of your current situation. A counselor can also help you work on setting goals for the future and moving you forward.

Over time, a skilled counselor will help you manage the broad range of emotions you may experience while you are dealing with divorce and work with you as you move toward the next chapter of your life. You will learn to put the past in perspective and how to make choices and decisions that serve you and your new life well.

If you’re feeling “stuck” in your divorce process, for example, a therapist can help you pay attention to your thinking and behavior. They may encourage you to challenge negativity and unproductive thought patterns to help you out of your emotional rut.

2. Help You Realize Your Goals

Marriage can sometimes cause you to lose your individual identity. Or, at least a portion of it. You may have lost some of your goals and aspirations along the way. It’s possible they didn’t line up with the goals and aspirations of your partner, relationship, or family. Maybe life just got in the way.

Now that you’re dealing with divorce, you can re-evaluate your goals. A counselor can help you to realize goals you may not have considered for years or new ones you would like to achieve.

3. Support Purposeful Decisions

Therapists certainly don’t ignore emotions. However, at times, they can help you focus more on actions and purpose.

Emotions can sometimes be dangerously overwhelming, hindering healthy decision-making during a divorce. A therapist can help you find ways to regulate your emotions so that you can make better choices. This support often offers direction as you go through the process.

4. Bring Ease to the Legal Process

Therapist and counselors aren’t lawyers. They do not provide legal advice. They can, however, give you practical advice. They can also help you to better understand yourself and your emotions as you move forward.

Essentially, knowing what you want for your future can help smooth the way legally. When you work with a counselor during the process of divorce, you may have more clarity about the questions you want answered, or, you may be more willing to come to some sort of amicable agreement or settlement with your partner.

5. Boost Your Confidence

Divorce can wreak havoc on your self-esteem. You might start to think you weren’t good enough for your spouse. You might wonder whether you have what it takes to be married at all. When your confidence is gone, it’s easy to feel lost, alone, and scared.

A counselor can help you rebuild your self-confidence so that you can release fear and silence your inner critic. This helps you to create realistic expectations for the rest of your life.

If you are having trouble dealing with divorce on your own, or you’re not sure what you want your life to look like after your divorce, consider the benefits of seeing a counselor. Professional support could be a great addition to your team.


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If you are currently going through divorce, or think one might be in your future, remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Ellen Rohr, MEd, LPC, helps individuals at the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin who are in the process of separating from their spouse. With the perspective and support of a seasoned counselor by your side through this life transition, you can come out on the other end with clarity and grace. Schedule an appointment with Ellen by calling (512) 270-4883, ext. 115, or request an appointment online through the RCC Austin Scheduling page. We’re here to help.