Lonely? Tired of Trying to Find Love? – Individual Relationship Counseling Can Help

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By Mirela Bitkowski, MA

If you’re like many people, you may have assumed that relationship counseling is reserved only for those already in a relationship. Although relationship counseling is typically focused on couples, it is beneficial for single people, as well!

You have a unique history of romantic relationships; perhaps you have a list of simmered out flames, ghosting stories, or even a romantic void.

No matter your situation, individual relationship counseling can help uncover some of the layers and wrinkles that may be preventing you from finding love.

Here’s the scoop on how individual relationship counseling may be helpful for you.

What Is Individual Relationship Counseling?

Individual relationship counseling tackles the concept of relationships using a two-fold approach. In addition to examining how you relate to others, this method also looks at the relationship you have with yourself.

The relationship you have with yourself tends to set the standard for your other relationships. In short, it’s ultra-important! Individual relationship counseling gives your self-identity, self-compassion, and self-esteem plenty of time on center stage.

Individual relationship counseling helps to map toxic patterns and identify old wounds, rooting back as deep as childhood. Plus, this type of counseling promotes a deeper understanding of human interactions and why you do the things you do in relationships.

How Can Individual Relationship Counseling Help You Find Love?

Counseling has the potential to uncover a lot of mystery in your relationship patterns and habits. It may even answer lifelong questions to help you find solutions to your relationship hold-ups.

Encourages Self-Love

Counseling helps promote a deep love and respect for yourself. The more you learn about yourself, the more you acknowledge and embrace your core values. As a result, you begin to develop an authentic love for who you are.

Respecting and valuing yourself is an unrivaled healer and can do wonders for your other relationships, too.

Examines Relationship Patterns

Individual relationship counseling takes a magnifying glass to your relationships, not just romantic interests and previous partners, but with other important people in your life, as well. Rather than pointing out what you’ve done wrong or how you’ve failed, it simply identifies patterns.

People can unknowingly sabotage their romantic relationships because of painful inner wounds that are getting in the way. These wounds can be difficult to spot and nurture back to health on your own.

Talking to trusted friends or family members, or an experienced counselor, can help you spot areas in your life that need to recover from past hurts. This type of inner healing supports vulnerability in your life, which is a fundamental characteristic of healthy romantic relationships.

Establishes Good Relational Habits

As well as identifying patterns in relationships, individual relationship counseling helps to establish good relational habits in your life. These positive habits trickle down throughout your entire life, impacting all your relationships.

Relational habits may include communication skills, intimacy rituals, goal-setting, self-expression, fighting fairly, etc. When you display these valued traits, you begin to attract the right kind of people to you.

When Should You Seek Individual Relationship Counseling?

Many people believe that counseling is only beneficial when things in an existing relationship are bad—rock bottom kind of bad. However, there is no reason to wait for that! Take control of how you want to be in a relationship that’s healthy for you.

It may be that you have trouble attracting the right kind of partner. Perhaps, you don’t know what you truly want in a potential mate. It could be that someone really hurt you in the past and you are having trouble moving forward.

The reasons are endless for feeling unhappy with your current relationship status. The good news is that you don’t have to remain lonely or unhappy. Be proactive! Read books and articles on good relationships, notice couples whose relationships you admire and ask them how they make it work, or seek the help of a relationship counselor who can walk with you in your journey of self-discovery.

By exploring topics such as what a healthy relationship is, and learning more about what you want in a relationship, you are setting your heart and mind on the right course to find love.



Are you ready to find more satisfaction and happiness in your relationships? If the answer is yes, Mirela Bitkowski, MA, LPC Intern can help. To schedule an appointment with Mirela, give her a call at (512) 270-4883, ext. 103, or request an appointment with her on the RCC Austin Scheduling page.