By Gabi Halloum, MAAre you trying online dating for the first time? Chances are you’re curious about what to expect.
Maybe you’ve run out of dating options in your local social circles. Or maybe your friends have tried to set you up with too many of their weird roommates or odd cousins, and now you’re ready to expand your dating options.
Like all new dating situations, you might be a bit uncertain and wonder what you’re getting yourself into!
Here are some ideas to keep in mind before you dip your toes in the water.
Know What You Want
One of the first things to assess is what you’re looking for when trying online dating. Do you hope to find a serious relationship, or are you looking for fun, short-term social opportunities?
Your answer to this question can steer you to which sites or apps you choose to use. Paid services are often recommended if you’re looking for a more serious commitment.
Know Who You Are
Being transparent as you create your profile may also go a long way in helping you find what you’re looking for. Of course, it’s very tempting to fudge about your weight, height, or job. But it’s best to be truthful about who you are so that you can make honest connections and feel confident about meeting your matches in person, if you eventually choose to do so.
On the other hand, it’s important to remember that some people aren’t entirely honest about their personal details. When you start browsing others’ profiles, keep this knowledge in the back of your mind. People may claim things on their profile that are not true. If you’ve been communicating with someone for a while, asking for their profile on other social media sites is a good idea to ensure that they are representing themselves authentically on their online dating profile.
Have Realistic Expectations
Scrolling through photos of attractive singles can lead to a heightened sense of possibility and hope. It’s very easy to become infatuated with someone who may not truly be as awesome as they seem online. Communicating via messages makes it easy to misinterpret someone’s personality or words. Our brains are excellent at creating impressions of others that may or may not be accurate, especially when we’re in a state of anticipation and searching.
You may find yourself more interested in someone else than they are in you. If they don’t respond to messages after a few days, file them away and move on. You could also find yourself in the opposite position. If someone is repeatedly harassing you, block and report them.
It can take time and perseverance to find a good romantic connection online, and of course, there is no guarantee that you will. However, some very happy romantic partnerships do arise from online dating!
Stay Safe In Real Life
If you decide to take the step of meeting someone in person, the same rules apply for early dating that you’d use with people you’ve met outside of dating apps. These guidelines are especially important for women.
Drive yourself rather than having them pick you up. Don’t provide your address. Meet at a public place. Consider having a brief coffee date to avoid getting stuck in a long, awkward dinner with someone you realize you aren’t attracted to. Don’t drink to the point of losing your good judgment. Let a friend know that you’re going to be out with a stranger and let them know when you’re safely home after the date. If you have location-sharing abilities on your phone, share your location with a close friend.
As with all things in life, try to use common sense and keep a clear head when trying online dating. Keeping your priorities and goals in mind will help you be successful.
For guidance and support as you are trying to find connections through online dating or other avenues, get in touch with the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin. For more information on dating coaching or individualized counseling sessions, call (512) 270-4883 or request an appointment online through the RCC Austin Scheduling page.