Of all the things that may rock a relationship, infidelity often hurts the worst.
When one cheats on their partner, a breach of trust occurs, and couples can struggle to bounce back. We often hear about breakups or divorces after infidelity, but is it possible for a relationship to survive? Can you bring back trust and faith to the relationship? To put it plainly, yes — a relationship can survive infidelity. It will take time and a lot of work, but if you and your partner commit to repairing your relationship, it is possible.
Understanding How Infidelity Affects a Relationship
Cheating in a relationship is not a new or secret thing. Nevertheless, it isn’t any less devastating when it occurs in modern-day relationships. When two partners commit to a monogamous relationship, there is a huge amount of trust that goes into it. It’s not always easy to trust someone, especially if your relationships have been tumultuous in the past. By doing so, however, you’re sharing a mutual faith with your partner — faith that you will not deliberately hurt one another.
Because infidelity is a conscious choice, it is a heartbreaking breach of trust. It significantly rocks relationships, and it typically isn’t something that couples can gloss over or ignore successfully. Many relationships do end because of infidelity and the fallout that occurs because of it. Whether your partner cheats on you or you on them, it’s crucial to understand how it will affect your relationship.
Repairing Trust
Trust is an essential component of romantic relationships. If you don’t trust your partner, you will often feel anxious or worried. You may not know when they’re lying or telling the truth and begin questioning everything they say. This fear isn’t a sign of a happy or healthy relationship — which is why trust is crucial.
When infidelity occurs, your worst fears may come true. Suddenly, you are questioning everything your partner has said or done. You may even feel anger towards yourself for believing their lies. As you work through your feelings, you need to ask yourself a key question: can I imagine ever being able to trust my partner again? Don’t ask yourself this question right away. Take time to come to terms with the information that you have. Don’t answer out of anger or bitterness. Instead, when you decide what you want to do moving forward, reflect on whether you believe that you and your partner can rebuild trust. If you genuinely think that you can, then you can begin to move forward with doing so.
See a Couples Counselor
There are many reasons why couples seek counseling, and infidelity is a big one. When a partner cheats, many couples find that they can’t repair the relationship alone — and that’s okay. You can and should ask for help, especially if you want the best chance at moving forward and restoring peace and trust in your relationship.
Couples counseling is helpful in many ways. First, you may be unsure of how to proceed after news of infidelity. You may not know how to approach a conversation with your partner. Your counselor will help get the ball rolling and help establish where you both stand. Counseling is not about taking sides or placing blame — it’s about owning up to mistakes and looking for ways to be better. If you and your partner want to be better and repair trust, counseling will help you accomplish that.
Moving Forward From Infidelity
There is no right or wrong way to bounce back from infidelity. Each couple and each person is different. As you move forward, understand that your feelings are valid. If you want to end the relationship and focus on yourself, that is a sound choice also. However, if you want your relationship to survive infidelity, it is possible. If you are unsure what to do in your relationship, take the first step, and seek couples counseling to help re-establish trust and hope between you and your partner.
Contact Kassie Soni, MA, LPC at the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin if you and your partner are struggling after an infidelity. Get in touch by completing the Scheduling Form, or give our office a call at (512) 270-4883. We look forward to hearing from you.
To learn more, click here: Infidelity Counseling